Maike Born

7/15/2016

Losing my way, 2016.

I've been in a black hole and I had no idea how to break out, and still I am sitting here, trying to get out.
photography always helped me to feel better, to find myself, to understand myself and my emotions, but every time I picked up my camera it felt like this connection was gone, that I had no idea what I was about to do. so every time I picked up my camera I was unsatisfied with the outcome and in the end with my whole being.

I also didn't know where I was going with my art and with my life. it seemed that I almost forgot how to take photos, how to express myself because I was taught differently in university and I got quite frustrated about the fact that I should rather try to improve my skills but then I start to ignore everything else and do nothing.
so I have been stumbling around for quite a while now, not knowing what would happen or what would not happen.
I lost something, inside of myself and I wasn't capable to get it back.

I tried and tried, and then I gave up.
for such a long time I haven't taken any photos, nor did any other art I appreciated. I was just there, trying to breath and trying to focus on anything that is not me.

and it is kind of ironic that I picked up my camera on that day I felt miserable about my life and my achievements, and it's even more ironic that I actually liked what I did. it was almost surreal to me that I finally did something I enjoyed again and I did something that expressed my feelings and everything I had on my mind for such a long time but couldn't let out because it was stuck.

I'm still sitting in that hole, but I can finally see light again.

11/15/2015

IT'S NOT HER FAULT, 2015.

I do have to apologize beforehand, because this post is going to be very personal. meaning that I wanted to express a huge problem which is taking over my life at this very moment into art and words. this is the first time I tried to express my feelings into typography instead of photography. so, I guess I have to explain a lot and give you more details about its meaning.

for almost three months now, I've been more than happy and that just because of one person who I truly love and who gives me the strength I needed so much during these past few months. she's always there for me when I need her, she can make me laugh when I'm sad and she forgives me for the things I've done.

but this isn't meant to be a post about love (though, it's a big part of the story of course), it is more about the people who can't see this love, or who don't even want to see it. we've been through a tough time, struggling with our own problems but also hurting each other by accident. it's been a lot of crying and it's been a lot of punching walls for both of us. but I've come to conclusion that people can change and they can be better of what they used to be. and this is the reason why we both found love in each other.

there is always a dark side of a story and this time the dark side is called people, friends and even family who don't respect our love. who keep telling me she's doing me harm. who keep asking if it was her fault when I have a sad time. and this is actually saddening, because it is not always her fault, neither mine. the problem about this is what other people believe in and they don't believe in us or in love. I can't even tell if it's caused by our background story or by the fact that we are two loving women. but people need to see that we both actually are more than happy and that we are not planning in hurting each other.

I wish that people would stop assuming it was her fault when I seem to be unhappy through times, when in fact she is the one who's helping me to get out of this state.
and I wish that people would stop seeing our relationship as a problem for both of us, when in fact it is such a relief to have a person by my side.

what I am actually trying to say is that we should believe in love and that we should accept the fact that two people kissing each other are indeed happy, even if it sometimes doesn't seem that way.

so I guess the main point of this post is, that it's not her fault.

10/31/2015

AND YOU HAVE GOT NO FLESH AND BLOOD, 2015.

happy halloween everybody!
I did this make up on my own using a reference picture of tate langdon from american horror story season one and rick genest aka zombie boy. it was all done with water make up by grimas using black and white colours and also a little bit of shading using simple black eye shadow. anyway, I hope you like how this came out and have a spooky halloween!